Tools for Navigating the 9 Year Change

9 year old change class 3 Sep 14, 2023
Tools for Navigating the 9 Year Change

The changes at age 9 are very different from those at any other stage. We hope this blog post brings you tools to support your child during this time. Reminder, the 9 year change does not have a magical end date and the child can appear they have passed it until a situation brings them back into it. 

These resources are great to study before reaching 9, during the 9 year change as a reminder and to re visit when you are wondering why out of no where your child wants you to be with them more than usual. 

The changes at 6 are often sadness and frustration at the loss of being small. 
The changes at 9, are a follow up to that. At 9, they are smacked with some of the horror of the world, they are mad about their new found independent feelings but they can't do a ton (in their eyes) about their surroundings.

Most kids struggle to some degree. Most get mad, frustrated, irritable, self righteous, indignant and just plain rude at times during the change. The outbursts have a lot to do with home life, exposure to negative people and temperament.

Melancholic temperament's can have a hard time. If the melancholic child is around an unhealthy melancholic adult it adds another layer of challenge. The melancholic child is primed by negative influences and sometimes they can have positive parents and still have a really dark spot. Unhealthy melancholy can look like this and our first impulse is to be frustrated and angry. Especially if we are more choleric in temperament. We are mad that they just won't get over it! What helps, but can be totally exhausting when you have a houseful of children is to get right to the heart of a melancholic. They want to be able to sympathize with others and they have a strong need to help. Service is golden for them. Even when they fight it. They may start out angry but they always end up feeling better.

Other temperaments tend to fair better. Cholerics get really bossy, but putting them in charge of some things tends to help. Sanguines forget they are mad but they have often little outbursts, phlegmatics seem pretty easy going but they seem to question a lot more.

Deepen your understanding of the 9 year change:

Watch this video HERE.
Grade 3 Part 1 Video (FREE) HERE
Grade 3 Full Video (Auriel's Light) Candle or Lantern Offering HERE

If the Grade 3 stories make you uncomfortable and you do not know the reason they are told in Grade 3. 
Listen to this podcast HERE.
Read this blog post HERE.

Books Recommendations:
Encountering the Self by Kopek HERE
Growing Children, Thriving Children: Raising 7 to 12 Year Olds with Confidence and Awareness HERE

Audio Recordings from our Seasons of Seven Teacher Ms. Daniela:
Year of Grade 3 Math HERE
Year of Grade 3 Language Arts HERE
Year of Grade 3 Child Development HERE

Story from one of our Seasons of Seven families and their experience navigating the 9 year change.  

"We found Waldorf education right before it was time to enroll in school or decide to homeschool. It became an easy decision after discovering the truth, beauty, and goodness in this Waldorf path. This journey instantly became an opportunity to nourish our child and also dive into our path of healing and inner work. Our son was always an easy going baby and child. As he got older we noticed sanguine and melancholic tendencies in him. It was very clear when the 9 year change was starting. Big questions surfaced, the weight of the world was felt on his shoulders, and he would have moments of not knowing why he was all of a sudden upset. He was very tough on himself with his work not being good enough, worried about what others would think and always wanted to have us nearby. With lots of patience, conversations and self inner work we made! We thought we were passed it and moving on to 10 years old and Grade 4. Insert a move across the U.S. and..... requests to sleep mom, help on every task and "I just feel better when you're right with me " resurfaced. As the parent I've found reminding myself "this isn't forever and this is an amazing opportunity to help the child in their life long development, I am the guide right now." Anytime something feels uncomfortable within me I just ask myself "why does this make me feel uncomfortable" then I respond in the way I would want my 9 year old change self responded to."

We are always available to answer your questions by email and face to face at our Monday Q and A.
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